What if one of them was perfect for me in every other way?
These are the top ‘deal breakers’ for online dating, according to sociologists
People have so many different aspects to them and may have so many wonders to reveal to you that you should be wary of foreclosing that possibility because of one pet peeve. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness.
Essential Re. Generally I think deal-breakers are a bad idea: They elevate one characteristic over all the others that may weigh in a person's favor. Back Psychology Today.
Exceptas Kelly points out, if that deal-breaker is something truly harmful, rather than merely annoying. We call these traits deal-breakers, because no matter how great a person is in every other way, that one nagging aspect of their personality or behavior matters so much to you that it breaks the deal. Deal-breakers block us from considering or even seeing anything else that might be good about a person. Aside from avoiding people that threaten to harm you, I would recommend ditching the deal-breakers and keeping an free over 40 dating Phoenix Az mind when it comes to minor annoyances that may be hiding a truly wonderful person.
Mark D. White Ph. Maybe It's Just Me, But Posted May 30, Share. Deal-breakers may also protect us from our own bad choices.
How to handle dating deal-breakers
July Who Is the True You? Back Today. Personality traits reveal themselves in different ways as well: The sad part is that many people too often accept abuse from some partners—in part because it reveals itself slowly over time—and reject others based on mere quirks that are obvious from the start. View Help Index. You might lose out on dating a basically great dating services in the Clarksville that just happens to shout a lot or drink, but you would be anxious with them until you knew that a relationship would not lead to abuse or a relapse.
Then imagine that person being even better—is that one characteristic still really that important? Can you honestly say that a pet peeve is important enough that you would pass up an otherwise fantastic person because of it? Can you really not imagine anyone that is good enough in every other way so free Brownsville TX phone sex to override that sticking point?
But part of me always wondered if I was too hasty. But I doubt that any one principle in ethics or characteristic in relationships can be so important as to override every other, no matter how strong they might be.
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We end up rejecting people for the wrong reasons and staying with others for even worse ones. Do I Need Help? It may be smokingbiting fingernails, being sloppy or excessively neator having political views opposite yours. First New Mexico dating admit that I have a deal-breaker—smoking. About the Author.
For example, maybe someone who hurt you in your past shouted a lot, so you avoid dating people who shout. If a person is violent or dishonest, those are s afro dating Lexington KY who that person is, not harmless eccentricities that simply annoy us.
50 first date conversation starters
For a select list of my Psychology Today posts on relationships, self-loathingand other topics, see here. Back Find a Therapist. Back Magazine. No matter how important your deal-breaker is to you, does it really outweigh every other quality a person may have?
Back Get Help. Read Next.
Or if something that person does reminds you of someone who hurt you in the past, again, I would consider that a useful decision-making heuristic or rule of thumb based on self-preservation. Family Life Child Development Parenting.